Q. What age does Elizabeth start the sleep programme?
I like six months (or at the very least that the baby weighs 8kgs) for a few reasons.
Q. What do you mean by self-settle?
Self-settle or self-soothe means that a baby is able to get him or herself off to sleep without the need for any props or aids. Just imagine being able to put your baby down in their cot – awake – knowing that they’ll be able to fall asleep with ease. And should baby wake naturally during the night, they can drift back to sleep without needing mum or dad. Being able to self-settle is a skill that we all need to be taught and Elizabeth will teach your baby to do just that.
Q. How does Elizabeth ensure this will continue after the 3 days?
Golden Rules
Your baby must be well. Don’t start a sleep program when your baby (or child) has a cold or any type of illness when they will understandably be more grizzly and need extra comfort. And it’s preferable that you are 100% well also. I also advise that before you start a sleep program that you get the tick of approval from your pediatrician that your child is in good health.
Q. How do I ensure your child learns to self-settle?
Calm. Committed. Consistent.
I have three foundation words that guide everything I do with children: calm, committed and consistent.
CALM: if you can stay calm (even when your child has been awake all night or has just used your new lipstick as a crayon to draw on the walls) you make better decisions and your emotions don’t escalate the situation. Keeping calm with babies is key since children respond to the emotions you are giving out. Staying calm helps keep babies calm.
COMMITTED: this refers to my request that you stick to the program once you start. If you are serious about giving your household the sleep, then commit to my program 100%. Otherwise there really is no point if you plan to give up after the first few hours. It’s not fair to your baby. Stay committed and it will pay off for you and your household.
CONSISTENT: And then there’s the need for parents to be consistent. Start as you mean to continue. We all know (usually from trial and error) how confusing it is for children of all ages when we are continually changing the goal posts on them, be that with bedtime routines or teenage curfews. Kids and babies love predictability. When you are learning all day long (as babies and toddlers in particular are) there is something soothing in having a routine. It makes kids feel secure. Each day can be full of surprises for babies and small children. Routines and consistency help them to relax. Imagine their little shoulders relaxing as their bedtime routine starts and they think, ‘Oh I know what’s happening now. Mummy is going to read me two stories and then tuck me into bed with my bear. I can relax.’
Q. How do I know if this program is right for my child and me?
I’m the first to say that this program isn’t for everyone. After all, you need to do what is right for you, your family and your child.
Perhaps you get up during the night to your baby but it doesn’t bother you? Then do what works. Keep going until you feel it isn’t working for you.
Or perhaps, for you, the thought of a three-day program where you have to leave a child to cry for five to 10-minutes is just too distressing to even bare thinking about. Again, that’s totally okay. There is no judgment from me, as I truly believe that each family needs to do what works for them. And we’re all different.
Q. Does Elizabeth’s Sleep program fall under the umbrella of ‘controlled crying’?
Well, yes and no. Yes, it does if you mean does it involve allowing babies to grizzle or cry for set periods of time while they learn to self-soothe. And you need to be prepared for the fact that they will cry. After all, they have become dependent on a sleep prop and we are taking it away and teaching them how to sleep without it! So yes, your baby will give a cry of ‘protest’ during the program. But think of it as your baby saying, ‘What’s going on? I want my dummy/music/patting!’) rather than a cry that indicates they are in any type of physical or emotional distress.
I can’t say enough that I do not advocate leaving babies (or children) to cry for long periods of time. This program is not about shutting the nursery door, walking away and leaving a child to ‘cry itself to sleep’. If during the program you feel at ANYTIME that something is wrong with your child (other than them doing a ‘protest type of cry’) then you should always go to them.
So my three-day program is very much about gently and lovingly teaching your baby how to get him or herself off to sleep independently while still offering them plenty of reassurance that they have not been abandoned.
Let me repeat - my program is not about making your baby sleep through the night – although that often is the result. Instead my goal is to teach your child to self-settle. I want your baby to know how to get him or herself off to sleep and should they wake during the night, I want to ensure they are able to get themselves back to sleep without you.
Research tells us that a normal, healthy baby is perfectly able to sleep for 12 hours straight at night once they are six-months old. At that age children do not need a nighttime feed.
By six months, a baby will have started solids (and some babies don’t sleep through the night until they have started solids. So it’s always a good idea to tick this milestone off first.)
Q. What about toddlers or pre-schoolers who are in “big beds”? Does the book help those kids too?
Absolutely. If bedtime is a battle or you’re dealing with a rambunctious bed-hopping toddler or pre-schooler – Elizabeth can help to ensure they stay in their beds to sleep!
Q. Does Elizabeth’s program work with premmie babies, reflux babies and twins?
It certainly does!
Q. Is my baby going to cry on this program?
If your baby is dependent on a sleep prop (like a dummy or being rocked or patted etc.) to get to sleep – then yes, the truth is there will be a ‘protest cry’ from baby. Your baby will be saying to you, “Hang on! What happened to my dummy?” That is only to be expected when you think about it! But as you go through the program, the protest cry will become less and less each night.
Q. My Baby has reflux?
Increasingly more families ring me to say they are struggling because of having a baby with reflux. Reflux babies do tend to need more manual re-settling, which can in turn lead to poor sleep habits. What you need to remember is that most medical professionals agree that by six months most babies are over the worst of their reflux and if they’re waking repeatedly it could now be out of habit rather than from reflux. The solution: Definitely consult your GP before you begin a sleep program with any baby who has had reflux. My advice is to remove elevation from the cot. Most reflux babies have considerable elevation (phone books, stumps under legs of beds etc.). So best to move them back into a flat position. Certainly give the baby the reflux medication they need as per usual and start the program on a day when they have eaten well and are calm. Reflux babies tend to really benefit from sleeping through as they have had a tougher journey already than most babies. Now it’s time to teach them to sleep through, which they are perfectly capable of doing.
I like six months (or at the very least that the baby weighs 8kgs) for a few reasons.
- Research tells us that a normal, healthy baby is perfectly able to sleep for 12 hours straight at night once they are six-months-old. At that age children do not need a night-time feed.
- By six months, a baby’s sleep patterns have changed and they are going into the heavier non-REM sleep first. (Younger babies tend to go into the lighter REM sleep initially, which is why they find it harder to go to sleep and then tend to be ‘light sleepers’.)
- By six months, a baby will have started solids (and some babies don’t sleep through the night until they have started solids. So it’s always a good idea to tick this milestone off first.)
- Also by six months of age, babies have had all their early vaccinations. Again, by waiting until six months of age, we can rule that out as a reason for them waking during the night.
Q. What do you mean by self-settle?
Self-settle or self-soothe means that a baby is able to get him or herself off to sleep without the need for any props or aids. Just imagine being able to put your baby down in their cot – awake – knowing that they’ll be able to fall asleep with ease. And should baby wake naturally during the night, they can drift back to sleep without needing mum or dad. Being able to self-settle is a skill that we all need to be taught and Elizabeth will teach your baby to do just that.
Q. How does Elizabeth ensure this will continue after the 3 days?
Golden Rules
Your baby must be well. Don’t start a sleep program when your baby (or child) has a cold or any type of illness when they will understandably be more grizzly and need extra comfort. And it’s preferable that you are 100% well also. I also advise that before you start a sleep program that you get the tick of approval from your pediatrician that your child is in good health.
Q. How do I ensure your child learns to self-settle?
Calm. Committed. Consistent.
I have three foundation words that guide everything I do with children: calm, committed and consistent.
CALM: if you can stay calm (even when your child has been awake all night or has just used your new lipstick as a crayon to draw on the walls) you make better decisions and your emotions don’t escalate the situation. Keeping calm with babies is key since children respond to the emotions you are giving out. Staying calm helps keep babies calm.
COMMITTED: this refers to my request that you stick to the program once you start. If you are serious about giving your household the sleep, then commit to my program 100%. Otherwise there really is no point if you plan to give up after the first few hours. It’s not fair to your baby. Stay committed and it will pay off for you and your household.
CONSISTENT: And then there’s the need for parents to be consistent. Start as you mean to continue. We all know (usually from trial and error) how confusing it is for children of all ages when we are continually changing the goal posts on them, be that with bedtime routines or teenage curfews. Kids and babies love predictability. When you are learning all day long (as babies and toddlers in particular are) there is something soothing in having a routine. It makes kids feel secure. Each day can be full of surprises for babies and small children. Routines and consistency help them to relax. Imagine their little shoulders relaxing as their bedtime routine starts and they think, ‘Oh I know what’s happening now. Mummy is going to read me two stories and then tuck me into bed with my bear. I can relax.’
Q. How do I know if this program is right for my child and me?
I’m the first to say that this program isn’t for everyone. After all, you need to do what is right for you, your family and your child.
Perhaps you get up during the night to your baby but it doesn’t bother you? Then do what works. Keep going until you feel it isn’t working for you.
Or perhaps, for you, the thought of a three-day program where you have to leave a child to cry for five to 10-minutes is just too distressing to even bare thinking about. Again, that’s totally okay. There is no judgment from me, as I truly believe that each family needs to do what works for them. And we’re all different.
Q. Does Elizabeth’s Sleep program fall under the umbrella of ‘controlled crying’?
Well, yes and no. Yes, it does if you mean does it involve allowing babies to grizzle or cry for set periods of time while they learn to self-soothe. And you need to be prepared for the fact that they will cry. After all, they have become dependent on a sleep prop and we are taking it away and teaching them how to sleep without it! So yes, your baby will give a cry of ‘protest’ during the program. But think of it as your baby saying, ‘What’s going on? I want my dummy/music/patting!’) rather than a cry that indicates they are in any type of physical or emotional distress.
I can’t say enough that I do not advocate leaving babies (or children) to cry for long periods of time. This program is not about shutting the nursery door, walking away and leaving a child to ‘cry itself to sleep’. If during the program you feel at ANYTIME that something is wrong with your child (other than them doing a ‘protest type of cry’) then you should always go to them.
So my three-day program is very much about gently and lovingly teaching your baby how to get him or herself off to sleep independently while still offering them plenty of reassurance that they have not been abandoned.
Let me repeat - my program is not about making your baby sleep through the night – although that often is the result. Instead my goal is to teach your child to self-settle. I want your baby to know how to get him or herself off to sleep and should they wake during the night, I want to ensure they are able to get themselves back to sleep without you.
Research tells us that a normal, healthy baby is perfectly able to sleep for 12 hours straight at night once they are six-months old. At that age children do not need a nighttime feed.
By six months, a baby will have started solids (and some babies don’t sleep through the night until they have started solids. So it’s always a good idea to tick this milestone off first.)
Q. What about toddlers or pre-schoolers who are in “big beds”? Does the book help those kids too?
Absolutely. If bedtime is a battle or you’re dealing with a rambunctious bed-hopping toddler or pre-schooler – Elizabeth can help to ensure they stay in their beds to sleep!
Q. Does Elizabeth’s program work with premmie babies, reflux babies and twins?
It certainly does!
Q. Is my baby going to cry on this program?
If your baby is dependent on a sleep prop (like a dummy or being rocked or patted etc.) to get to sleep – then yes, the truth is there will be a ‘protest cry’ from baby. Your baby will be saying to you, “Hang on! What happened to my dummy?” That is only to be expected when you think about it! But as you go through the program, the protest cry will become less and less each night.
Q. My Baby has reflux?
Increasingly more families ring me to say they are struggling because of having a baby with reflux. Reflux babies do tend to need more manual re-settling, which can in turn lead to poor sleep habits. What you need to remember is that most medical professionals agree that by six months most babies are over the worst of their reflux and if they’re waking repeatedly it could now be out of habit rather than from reflux. The solution: Definitely consult your GP before you begin a sleep program with any baby who has had reflux. My advice is to remove elevation from the cot. Most reflux babies have considerable elevation (phone books, stumps under legs of beds etc.). So best to move them back into a flat position. Certainly give the baby the reflux medication they need as per usual and start the program on a day when they have eaten well and are calm. Reflux babies tend to really benefit from sleeping through as they have had a tougher journey already than most babies. Now it’s time to teach them to sleep through, which they are perfectly capable of doing.